Parenting Revelation, Gardening Revelation, and Pillow Fights... does that Add Up?

Huh parenting... just where I am at today.
I am afraid of my anger.  I am not explosive.  Not damaging.  Just realized I am foolishly trying to run and hide from anger.  Why can't anger and Jesus meet with me in the same room to know I am safe when I am angry.  Just realized anger growing up turned into rage but, I do not walk in those shadows.  Most of the time, as I get angry, I have the fruit of the Spirit called self control.  Imagine that, I am walking in self control.  As I sit here writing outside, I am emulating another fruit of the Spirit....joy(giggles too!)  I am no longer angry.  Jared took all the kids to the swim pool so I can just be.

SIDE NOTE:  WE have outdoor kitties.  Jasper thinks my typing is play for him.  "No, no Jasper."

Gardening Revelation
I love going to my garden!  To see what I planted from seed, bear much veggies, is so gratifying.  Yellow squash, cucumbers, tomatoes, green beans, melons, pumpkins.  I also noticed some leaves turning yellow with holes in them.  I squat for a closer look. "Something is feasting on my veggies and plants.  Squash bugs... I hate them.  They destroy the plant and all potential fruit unless they are done away with.  I am trying to go organic with my manual labor, remedies and such.  I squatted in different areas of my garden squishing those plant killing bugs.  I had to.  Bugs and eggs, you know the next generation.  Those stinky little bugs knew I was coming and tried to hide and run away from me.  My 4 year old Sam has a good eye for those bugs too.  With his eye and my squishing, we won, for now.
Taking it spiritual:
There are those squash bugs in our life that reveal themselves at times and then hide.  The God of the universe reveals those bugs to us.  He gives us eyes to see and ears to hear Him.  Then we watch Him squash them.  Or we do in Him.  How courageous!

Pillow Fights
Asher and Eden were pillow fighting in my room.  I yelled, "do not pillow fight in my room!  Get out!"  A few minutes later I heard glass crash upstairs and then crying.  Asher came running to the stairs assuring me no one was hurt.  Then, he proceeded with the statement, "you did not say we could not pillow fight upstairs."  Seriously, that was his defense statement.  I was thinking in comic bubbles,"Oh no, that did not come out of your mouth in defense."  It did.  I am angry.  At the top is my parenting revelation ready to be activated...self control.  I can be angry with self control.  AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH.  I need a quick parenting download now God.
The ceiling fan glass shattered throughout their room and no one was hurt...whew!  Big clean up.  I had plenty of time to check into head quarters.  Kids safely in another room trying to defend why they did not obey... bad choice.  Half way through picking up the pieces I had a response from headquarters.  For every piece of glass I had to pick up, they had to write the sentence,"I will obey Mom!"  I did cap it after 75 pieces.  Eden only had to write 30 sentences.  And they will earn $ through chores around the house to pay for the new light!  How's that for discipline and responsibility?  Found out a bit later that Jared already told them no pillow fighting upstairs because you can break things.  Eden had asked Jared,"how do you know that Daddy?"  Jared, "because I broke Grammy's lamp and tried to glue it back unsuccessfully." Eden knew.  She knew she was busted.  She was afraid of Jared's response but, we do not doubly discipline.  She was off the hook with Jared.  I am allowed to be angry and disappointed.  And I can express anger in self control.
That was my day today!
P.S.  Jared also took the kids out to dinner so I could be filled up.  I love my lover Jared!  Coins in the "Love Bank!"  This is better than him cleaning up the kitchen.  Although, he wins when he does that too!